*goes off on universities for 10 minutes*
~"self authoring program increases likelihood of men to stay in university"~
"I'm contributing to the problem!"

https://youtu.be/vwKCK5EhibM?si=QvzrbmCUijVkwCCz
~"if you're not suffering yet, all you have to do is wait"~
~9:00 "hell is a bottomless pit... it's reasonably probable that you're that idiot"

https://youtu.be/j0GL_4cAkhI?si=6NwQQx_M8KQZaM5j
~4-5:00 prager says peterson is a good man, Peterson refuses to admit he's good, then says roundaboutly that he does things that are "somewhat approximating good"
43:00 "i live in a constant state of disbelief"
"don't worry about that, it was only 200"
"who in the world would come to hear me tell you what I told you"
46:00 "'this was our anniversary present' you people are out of your minds!"

https://youtu.be/pZKuwgcKXwY?si=LHNUqPH_aOEDu8iK
1:21:00 "how many shots to the head did you have to take before you thought being a stand up comedian was a good idea?

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story where he was gonna get in a fight and his mom chose not to intervene "yeah mom and because of you, I think I already lost"
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https://youtu.be/JpA5iDpnrbw?si=j1HPXvELczHDMEuK
~14:30 gender, sex, so that's already 70 different things... "that'd be funny if it wasn't true"

"bilbo... or was it frodo? doesn't really matter, it's one of those little hobbits anyways" - he can seriously NEVER remember their names!!

~"so, back to x... I might manage this..."~

"an eagle can see a dime from the top of the empire state building. although why an eagle would be interested in that isn't obvious to me."

~"if you have 98% seller rating on ebay, you're a crook, we need better than that"~

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basically anytime he says "I'm serious!" "I'm dead serious about that." cuz that's when he accidentally makes people laugh